I was nowhere around Barstow near the other edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. Fifty milligrams of tramadol and THC—massive amounts in every form: resin, rosin, terp sauce, sugar, distillate, budder, badder, live diamonds, and flower. One glass water pipe. Four bags of gummies. A blowtorch. Four THC chocolate bars. Two THC sodas and RSO tablets. I could handle all of those items in heavy fashion, except the RSO tabs. RSO is of the devil's making even if it's THC, and regrettably, I knew I'd need them soon. Hang on. This all feels…so familiar. Yet I only read about shit like this in Hunter S Thompson novels. Was this real life? I think so. Most of it was I think. Whatever. Never mind. 

This mostly legal stash had been plucked off the Vegas strip near the Stratosphere hotel in a rented black BMW SUV not dissimilar to what I'd imagine the actual MIB get to drive. I was a sports agent after all and there are appearances. The Stratosphere hotel is a one thousand one hundred and forty nine foot tall concrete Bellend that has the clientele that is best represented by literal Mos Eisley on fucking Earth. 35-dollar smoke-filled rooms from 1973 that you'd have to be an absolute moron to not get comped upon entry to the point I'm not even entirely certain they accept legal tender for rooms. Degenerates like gamblers, pimps and hookers fill most seats in the lobby throwing away all their money on video roulette and casino war. The pimps and hookers would fit in the  baseball business but there are more pressing issues to cover before wasting space on pimps and whores. I digress. But I will return for the pimps and whores later. We have work man!

Vegas, unlike Nazi Germany (Florida), had no marijuana laws so once I was there it was imperative to get my hands on absolutely all the THC products I could get my hands on just to try to get me through this godforsaken contractual experience. This was the deal of a lifetime, and I had to be ready for all possibilities. Pop culture and life have taught me as much. I got a lot, and I used it all. And it was all needed. And I did it in Las Vegas. And all it cost was money. Money is money. Life is easier with it but never conflate rich with smart and poor with stupid. It is an easy tell when someone does this to others. Avoid them like the fucking plague and let them all die on Ivermectin. The world will turn, I promise. My life ain’t even that important but man…what a life.